It is Grey Cup Sunday and I am working what a drag. Especially when my team is in the finals and they are playing in Montreal.

I am tired today, the bad days are still around, like this weekend, all I could think of what he was doing. Then I would think that he should be here with me. But he isn't. His mother and I had a conversation last week. That kind of put me over the edge knowing he won't be back. I really have lost my soul and there is a hole in the place where my heart is. I don't think it will ever heal. No amount of time can repair this.

Only 5 more sleeps until the cruise and again I could care less. He has ruined this for me. His mom said that at least I had a lot of friends to help me through. The reality of it is I have no friends. Ever since he left I have been alone. I have only heard from Marci maybe twice in 21 days, and well there is no one else. I can't talk to anyone because they all must be getting sick of me. So I sit here in silence and hurt. The hurt is unbearable it will never be ok.