I am NOT going to be a fucking babysitter in Cuba. I refuse. If she thinks that I am going to stick with her while she drinks when she isn't supposed to she has another think coming. Yes I am talking about my sister. She called me tonight to let me know that her appointment was good in Calgary and for fuck sakes she was hammered. Well let her. Let her drink herself to death just like dad did. Just like Mike is. I don't care. And if she keeps up about this Cuba trip and booking it and such well she can go to hell. Just pay the damn deposit and get it over with. Don't freaking sit on it while the price goes up.

What a night. So much for sleeping now. I am too wound up. I can't wait for my holidays. They can't come soon enough. I just want out of this town, out of this province and out of this country. No computer, have to have my cell phone but it will be turned off unless I need it. But 5 days of no work, no part time job, no deliveries coming in 10 minutes before we close. OH I CAN'T WAIT!!

Thank GOD Monday is over. What a day it was. Michelle texted me this morning saying her boy was sick. I almost dumped my coffee on me. I spilled my cereal. And so on and so on ....

My sister got a laptop for her birthday and of course she says it is better than mine. Whatever. She thought you had to unplug it from the wall when you shut it down. Nope wrong!

Aunt Marion & Uncle Bob really upset me tonight. They don't want me to get them the Rita MacNeil tickets for Christmas. Well if I have to take the fucking day off work to drive them there. They piss me off so much I tell you. They have no clue who they hurt when they say things like that. Don't they know that it is something that I want to do for them. That they have no choice in the matter. Grr.....

I did 5k of the Terry Fox Run yesterday and boy was I sore today. But I am going to get back at this weight loss thing. Wednesday is the starting of a new 12 week cycle so it is time for a conscious effort to do this. I go to Seattle in one month today. Then to Cuba in February and I want at least 20 pounds gone by February. So wish me luck.

I talked to Sandra Epton tonight on facebook. Wow it has been so long since I talked to her. She is living in Weyburn Sask right now and we are planning to get together sometime next year. Like OMG that is so exciting. She didn't know my mom passed on and that was 29 years ago so it was well before then when I saw her last. I remember sleepovers at her place on the couch that you could fold up but not a sofa bed. Oh that was so fun!

But I must get to bed, not like I will sleep, I am too excited now.

So I went to see Prairie Oyster at the casino tonight. Sometimes I think I am just torchering myself going to things like that. The band was good though. I had forgotten how much I like them. But then I miss dancing. Why can't it be like it used to be when I lived in Cadomin. Friday and Saturday nights at the legion. I always had men complimenting me, even the married ones. It has been a very long time since I have been asked to dance.

I am missing Jason tonight. Not really sure if I am really thinking that it was a good thing that he left or not. I really am lonely. I have never felt this way before. It still hurts where my heart is and I still feel like crying every night. Guess you can say this is a bad night.

Weight watchers is gone to the way side. I am hoping by doing the Terry Fox Run tomorrow that it will be a turning point to get back on the program. I am not feeling good about myself at all right now. Must be that time of year.

Anywho, time to go, I have to get some sleep so that I can get up and have a bite to eat before the run. Good night