9:22 on Sunday evening. I was able to get out of work at 2:30 this afternoon and had all these notions of cleaning the house and cleaning the dog crate and just plain getting shit done. Well what did I do? I slept on the couch until 8pm now I have no ambition to do anything. Not one thing. Oh except order pizza for supper. Supper at 9pm. I think, no I know this will be the last time I order in a while. I have to get this weight off.

Was only able to keep the machine on for a couple hours last night. Hopefully longer tonight. That is if I am able to sleep now after my nap this afternoon. Tomorrow I deliver so I will do some cleaning then. I did get the bottles and cans cleaned up. I hope to get the dry dishes put away and maybe do a load before bed. Hopefully put some more decorations in boxes.

Another day with not talking to Vicky, she is online but not talking to me. I can only presume she is talking to her friends in England. That is her choice. Was talking to my sister today and am ready to just not go to Cuba as she is not making me very happy. I do believe this Cuba trip will be the worst of my life. I should never have agreed to going. It isn't somewhere I would just go. But I will try and make the most of it. I have to it was too much money not to.

Talked to my cousins daughter last night for quite a while and it was nice. I sure do miss family now and again. Sometimes I think that they are all I have in this world. Sometimes I feel so alone and just hate it but I guess that is what God has for me. If I can get through this I am sure I will be much stronger but to sacrifice my heart is tough. I really don't think I know how to love someone as I really don't think I have ever been loved like I should have.

Well pizza should be here shortly and have to eat it hot!!