It was weigh in day today. I missed 4 weeks & gained almost 8 pounds. It is time to now to get busy and get back with the program as they say. Vicky thinks I am depressed. LOL, if only she knew that I don't believe in that. It is all what you make life & lately I haven't made much of mine. So it isn't being depressed it is being lazy, and all the words that go with that.



Today we had a pig roast at work. That didn't help the weigh in. But it is done and over now. I hope to get to the gym tomorrow but I am not sure if Iwill get off work in time. I also looked at when I could get to a meeting next week. Looks like 9:15 in the morning at one of the Calgary locations. That won't be too bad as then the rush hour traffic will be over with. I must remember to bring my book though.



I am looking forward to going to Calgary but in some ways I'm not. To me it is an expense that I really can't afford but after that it is time to get my life together. I guess Sally wants to go to Veradaro Cuba in Jan or Feb of 2010. So I have to save for that & for the trip to Seattle. I do hope Alex will start paying me the extra for his insurance soon. He figures he owes me $500 yeah that is a start anyway.



I am tired again today. Not tired but exhausted. Sometimes I don't know how I function. People don't understand when I tell them I am tired how tired I really am. I am getting sick of trying to explain myself so I don't say anything about it. Sometimes like tonight it is so bad that I just want to cry. I often wonder why I have been blessed with this but I will take being tired over any thing else. The lump scare was enough for me. I want to live a long & healthy life, free of disease but yet I don't want to live that life alone. And that is what I am alone.



Maybe tomorrow will be a better day