Finally success at the scale this week.. Although it was not very big only a 0.2 loss but a loss is a loss right. I am at 279 as of tonight. I have made me losing this weight a priority again. I am tracking with MyFoodDiary again and drinking all my water. I have 2 goals in mind now. I want to run part of the 10k for the Terry Fox Run on September 13 and I have decided that when I go to Seattle that if the weather permits I want to do the Mount St. Helen's walk. That will be in October.

I have to shake my head though at my friends. But have to also commend them. They have seen the err of their ways and are correcting them. Well one set of friends are anyway. Marci has to councel herself and take her own advice before talking to other people. I am glad that my friends can confide in me and they know that I would never tell anyone their problems.

Had a fabulouse supper tonight of seasoned pork tenderloin, sirloin steak, baked potato with all the fixings and for dessert a mini black forest cake. Tim came over and did the yard work for me, bless his heart. So I fed him. He has a little over a week before his wife and her kids and his son come back here from Ontario. Again I have to wonder sometimes about the choices that some people make.

Well it is time to get the dog in and read my book before going to bed. Tomorrow is going to be another sunny and hot summer day. Maybe I can get the deck cleaned off?

What a light show I was treated to a fantastic light show coming home from Edmonton last night. At times I thought that the storm was more than a storm as the wind and rain were so heavy at times. But I made it home in one piece.

The potluck yesterday was a good time. 9 out of 10 showed up. Izzy couldn't as she was working at the drop zone. But I got to meet 3 new weight watcher gals. Jan, Dianne and Joni. All very nice ladies. Vicky, Teri, Cathy, Jen Dugas and Jen F were there as well. I told them that I almost didn't come as I don't feel I fit in and was chastised for that. They all told me that I fit in and they would have been angry if I didn't show up. Not sure how I deserved the friends I have now but I thank goodness they came into my life. Never again will I think that I don't belong with this group of wonderful ladies.

I fell down yesterday morning at the Shell station. I fell off the pump island. Thought I may have broken something but didn't but oh my goodness am I stiff and sore today. I made a lot of decisions this weekend as well. I am going to get my 2nd tattoo on August 7th at Laser Ink, with that Steve Cunningham. Everyone has recommended him so I will go there instead of Haze. I also decided that I am getting this weight thing under control. I have to before I really lose the sanity that I have. I know that is why I was so down last week and not myself. So only I can do this for me. Holly asked me why I was on this diet as we only have one life so we should enjoy it. I told her if I lose the weight I will have longer to enjoy this life.

Looks like I am dog sitting for Alex on the 30th of the month, that weekend. I am ok with that I guess. It is hard to say no. If I can help I will he knows that even if it means dog sitting while they are at Band Ranch.

But I am going to head to bed, I have to take a Percocet as I am still very sore. So that is it for tonight.

OMG here it is Wednesday, I am exhausted & well just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I didn't go to my meeting tonight because once again I know I have gained weight. Now I have to lose even more to go back next week. Not sure if that will happen. I went out for supper again tonight, tomorrow there is a BBQ at work and if I go to the pot luck on Saturday how the hell will I be counting that.

Life sucks lately.

Tomorrow is weigh in, not impressed with that but it has to be done. I know I gained the weight back that I lost but oh well. I really don't care anymore and I know I should but I just can't keep going like I am. I hate it I really do. Ahh well that is just part of my existance right.

I have decided that I really don't know who to trust anymore in the way of friends. Marci doesn't give a shit anymore. I called her to pick up some nectarines from me and well she conveintly forgot. So now they are going to go bad. My other friends never call me, and the others that do talk to me live too far away to just go for coffee. So I think I am going to just take a break from everyone and well I am my own best friend.

Had about an hour of sleep last night which is starting to wear on me. That potluck is on the 18th, I am seriously considering not going now. I am not a drinker, I am older than most that are going and I don't really fit in. I never have fit in so why put myself through it. Tomorrow I want to start cleaning the house up. Have to do the dog crate and kitty litter, oh what fun. I think Ann wants to go for wings so we will see about that. Then Thursday is the concert. After that my obligations are met until the 18th and like I said I will really think hard about going to that.

Well time to take my pain killer and head to bed. Maybe read tonight maybe that will help. Who knows.

I'm tired tonight, I think it is because I have a headache but that will go away after I take my advil before bed. I am taking a break from making my Pepper Salad for tomorrows snack lunch. I really don't want to make it but it is almost done.

Wednesday's weigh in is going to be awful. I have to do some damage control before then. Lots of water and hardly any food tomorrow. Maybe just a fruit for breakfast, and then the snack lunch. Thankfully I don't work tomorrow so I don't have to eat supper. I can go to the gym and get on the treadmill for an hour. Hopefully that will take care of some of what I did to my body this week.

Tim came over again yesterday and weeded my whole garden and cut the grass again. To bad there wasn't a single one of him...lol. I was asked tonight if I want a friend with benefits. I have decided that is definately not what I want. I actually sort of have one of them in Garry. I want someone who is reliable and can come to me when I need them, emotionally and physically. I so miss that with Jason being gone. One thing with him was he was always here for me even if he didn't listen. I am beginning to think again that there isn't anyone out there for me. Or why would anyone want me. But I have to get over myself afterall I was alone for many years before Jason came along and I did ok then why can't I get it through my head that I am alone and probably will be for another long time. Oh well, we can't all have what we want right?

Well that salad won't make itself. Once it is done it is into bed for me as I really am not feeling well. Just need a good nights sleep is all. Another wish that won't come true.

Happy Birthday Canada!!

I didn't have to work today mid week and well it is throwing my routine off. Last night I weighed in and lost 1.4 pounds this week and it was a short week. Next week we are back to normal Wednesday weigh in. I don't know what it is but I really hate my routine is disrupted. Back at it tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the opening day for the Eskimos, woo hoo!! They play the Bombers and I am going with Stephanie from work. I am excited. Then Friday is the second part of my sleep test in Edmonton. Teri and I were supposed to go to a Weight Watcher meeting, then to the farmers market then for lunch but she has a work thing on Saturday and can't make it. So I am going for breakfast with Jennifer instead. I am so excited to see her again.

Tim is mowing my lawn as I type this, he is a saint. He said he would feed the dog on Friday night for me and his wife is going back to Ontario on Saturday for a month. So maybe we can hang out while she is gone. Sometimes I miss that. The hanging out thing. He also said he would try and get my weed eater going. I am totally disappointed in Norma's son as he never got back to me about doing my yard. Last time I ever get someone I kind of know to do stuff. I may as well do it myself.

I have been trying to clean up here but I am not being successful. I am getting some done but not much. I want to get hte deck done so the park people don't have anything at all to complain about. That is all I would need to get thrown out of here. So the better I am at keeping the yard up the less they have to complain about.

Well I should go, get something done or try to. I want to get to the gym this evening but I am not sure yet. Again I hate going alone. But maybe I will. The Alouettes play the Stamps at 8 tonight so I want to be home for that. So maybe I will go at 6:30, wish me luck.